The view from down here; another take on underground adventuring

“Any of youse still awake out there?”

–– Baldo Bracewaithe, Subterranean Supplier

I looked over the posting from the ‘aerie the other day, and while I can’t say what they wrote was wrong I will say it was kinda gloomy. Sure, labyrinths are usually dark but that don’t mean they have to be uncomfortable.

That’s where I come in. My Underworld Emporium offers everything a discriminating adventurer might need to turn their dungeon crawl into a dungeon swagger. We’ve got labyrinth kits in every style and color. We’ve got chalk and waterproof inks to track your progress and find your way home. And don’t forget Baldo’s patented 11-foot collapsible hole.

Any yob can survive in a dungeon. The secret is to thrive. My first tip is quality bedding— you are already sleeping on the floor of a cave around the corner from a gutted troll, and the last thing you want is a lumpy bedroll. You should also lay in a supply of decent whisky. Nothing tops off a meal of hardtack or magically conjured victuals like a wee dram. It’s lightweight, won’t spoil, and as a last resort can be used as a flaming projectile.

Some easy supplements to your standard stylish kit are candles ($1 each), chalk ($5/dozen), fishing hooks and line ($1), a whistle, or spare sacks or bottles for collecting loot or strange samples. We’ve got a complete line of necessities and luxuries to check out at your leisure (

New Equipment

Caltrops ($5) Fills one hex within a Megahex of the user. Any who enter the hex must make a 3/IQ test and take 1 hit for each point they failed by. Damage reduced by armor is cumulative so that 4 hits against leather armor is only reduced by 2. Poor lighting, distractions, and being in battle increase the test by 1d.

Marbles ($2) Fills one hex within a Megahex of the user. Any who enters the hex must make a 3/DX test or fall down as the Trip spell (ITL, p. 21). Marbles are easily spotted (2/IQ) unless the area is dim or the victim is distracted, and the hex can be avoided.

Those of you with more of an arcane nature, this is your lucky day. I have spent my entire illustrious career collecting mysteries and unearthing secrets of magic. Gate keys, sacred talismans, powerful wards, and dread relics can be had for the right price. But even for the workaday wizard I have a few rare spells that are a worthy addition to any delver’s arsenal. Here are but a few:

New IQ10 Spell

Slow Fall (T) The spell allows creatures or objects to fall up to 50 ft without risking damage, and longer fleas are reduced by 50’. A target that falls into sharp objects, like spikes, suffers only half damage from them. If a wizard is falling, or trying to slow a falling victim the casting roll is 4DX. Cost: 2ST.

New IQ11 Spells

Silence (C) Fills one hex with silence extending 10 feet into the air, stopping any noise from entering or leaving. A wizard in a silenced area can only cast spells two or more less than their IQ. Cost: 1ST/turn.
Levitate (T) Allows the caster to lift themselves, a willing ally, or an object up to 10’ per turn. Objects can weigh as much as the wizard can lift, and must be unattended and in another’s possession. No horizontal movement can be effected by the spell, but a levitated figure could push themselves along a wall or pull on a rope to move sideways. Cost: 1ST/turn.

New IQ13 Spell

Enlarge/Reduce (T) This spell will change the size of a creature by one category for 12 turns. Reducing makes the target 1/3 its previous size and 1/10th its weight. Enlarging will triple the size and increase weight tenfold. A living creature will gain +2ST, +2MA, and -2DX while enlarged, and -2ST, +2DX, and -2MA while reduced. An unwilling creature gets a 3/IQ saving test to avoid the change.

If you’re not the type who can bring the fire from within, Baldo’s got you covered too. We’ve got healing potions — buy nine get one free, as well as regeneration and revival potions for more extreme cases. But if you have orb asked how much, you might not need them that badly.

Here are a couple more unique items we’ve just gotten in from the deep goblin mines

New Magical Items

Cunning Sack ($2500) This exceptional item is a combination fr craftsmanship and magic that allows a figure to carry five times their capacity (ITL p. 65) without penalty. Furthermore, the many pockets and side pouches in the sack allow items to be retrieved in two rounds, rather than four.

Skyhook ($2000) Similar to the Holdfast Spike, the skyhook is a finely wrought silver grapnel. It can be thrown, and when the command word is spoken it will hold in place as if attached to a solid object. The skyhook can hold up to 500 pounds and will stay in place until the command is spoken again.
Smart Rope ($1500) is similar to a typical magic rope, except that it can also perform simple functions like tying and untying a knot in itself, stretching rigid, or self-coiling. It can move out to its 50’ length on its own (even up and down) and wrap around objects to tie itself off.

This is but a whiff of the banquet of benefits that can be yours from the Underworld Emporium. We’ve got powdered potions, poisons, antidotes, and always a supply of Baldo’s Blend smokeless pipeweed. Just drop us a line and let us know what gear you look for when planning your next foray in the labyrinth.

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